The 4 letter word L*O*V*E

For those of you who do not know I am in a 10 month relationship at the moment.  It is my third kind of serious relationship of my life.  My first relationship I believe was merely because I felt lonely and urged for attention.  It was in my matric year.  I went to a really small school in a very small town and there were not that great option of boys.  Although I loved my single life during all my school friends, by the time a got in matric I was looking for a relationship.  I was evaluating my environment and my eyes got stuck on this kind of ‘hot’ guy with a ‘cool’ attitude in school.  It was really puppy love although I believed I was totally inlove with the guy until about 6 months after we broke up.  Then I only realised what was I thinkg???  Although I believe everything happens for a reason and that is what I took out of that relationship.

My second relationship can you believe evolved through facebook.  He searched for an old friend, found three Nadia Louw’s on facebook (that was 4 years ago) and sent me a message.  I responded and from there on we chatted everyday and got to know each other extremely well.   I have never found someone I can just chat to for hours and we just have something to say every second.  When we met it was love at first sight from his side.  After a while I gave in my struggle of saying no all the time and we became more than friends.  We had a wonderful relationship although I never felt the butterflies, probably because they were never there.  Three years down the line after hours of thought I left one day and never went back.  It is sad that I had to lose such a great friend, but still I believe everything happens for a reason.

In March 2010 it was just a normal day at work.  When I went to get something at the printer and walked back to my office in the corridor this friendly, nice looking guy asked me if he were at the right place.  He came for an interview.  Just when I walked passed him I secretly thought to myself that I hope he gets the job..and he did.  Seven months down the line I started flirting with him.  It took a while for him to bight but he did alright.  Only three months after that we started dating.

Wow what a long introduction to get to my point.  The first two guys we told each other really early in our relationships that we loved each other.  The thing is it is almost a year and my boyfriend and I still haven’t really told each other that we love each other.  Although I am positive we do.   What will the reason for this be?  Have we both learned through previous relationships and do not want to commit too early?  What does it actually mean to say I love you?   How do you actually know when you love someone?  All these questions and loads more are running through my head.

We would just have to wait and see.